3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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