I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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