i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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