That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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