i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im holly from the hills drunk
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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