I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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