i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
