We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
