I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just cut my nipple shaving
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
