I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
