party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
