I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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