we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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