he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
