I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
