I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
