i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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