SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize