im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
