dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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