A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
