saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize