whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
