Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
