Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
