I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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