I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
