Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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