i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
