just come out here and I will go home with you...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
