I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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