dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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