Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
