when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
