whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
