it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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