and you said cock pushups were impossible
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
