I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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