I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
