So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
