His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
