I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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