So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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