did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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