It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
