I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
