she looked like the before picture.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she smelled like a LAN party
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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