PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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