he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
