omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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