No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
There's even glitter on my cock...
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