i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
