So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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