I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
