It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
