Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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