with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
