After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
