Non-Jews are for practice
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
